During this last trimester I have just gotten more and more uncomfortable. My stomach itches like crazy, but if you itch beware, you will get stretch marks. It's like some sort of personal Chinese torture. UGH! Then there’s the feeling of things that annoy me. If it annoys me I just want to throw it away. For example little trinket toys that I constantly find around the house, these day's I just throw it away. Then I feel better, and it no longer annoys me. Let me tell you purging for me has gotten easy in this stage. As my stomach has grown I find that it's in the way, and can barely bend. So when my son throws his sippy cup down it really angers me because I don't want to bend down and pick it up. My solution: get him down and have him pick it up. Then I realized my other options when it comes to bending. One having someone else pick them up like my son or my husband. If there's a mess on the floor I try using my foot to clean it up. If I end up dropping something these days though sometimes I'll just leave it because someone else will pick it up. Sounds lazy but having a kid jammed up into your ribs is very uncomfortable.
For all who have been pregnant knows very well that last trimester is very tiring. Some days I just want to sleep. Of course having a toddler makes that impossible. During this last trimester it's been bitter sweet. The anticipation of our next little bundle of joy coming is exciting, but then there's these fear of "what if's". Such as what if I don't love this baby as much as my first. What if there's jealousy between the two boys. I hope I just keep in mind they are two separate people. I hope I'm not always comparing the two but I want them to share common interest. Such as playing baseball. Most important to me is that knowing there's a third child in the future is that my baby boy would not end up with the cliche “middle child syndrome.” One other hope is that all the family would love this baby just as much as they love Isaac. No favorites. The anticipation just goes on and on.
During these last days it has been a count down to finishing some things before he comes. Such as getting a new dresser for Isaac so the baby can have his. Cleaning all the baby clothes, sorting them and putting them away. Getting all the little things that we still needed for our little man like a changing pad because the one we had tore. Even though the baby is on the way there is still so much I did not get to do. For example with Isaac we started this tradition where we go to Build a Bear, and build a bear with our voices put on it with a special bible verse we chose just for them. I was really hoping to have Isaac bring that when he comes to visit in the hospital and Jesiah was going to have a gift for Isaac. Things are just not going as expected.
So speaking of things not going as expected as I quickly type this I am currently in labor.
Now here I am truly in the finally days. I am scheduled for a c-section as of August 3rd. One week away. However contractions have already started. as of a week ago some labor pains here and there and then as of the 26th of July I started having contractions every 20 minutes and then time cut in half by the evening. Knowing I wouldn't get any sleep I went to the hospital to see what the doctors thoughts were. Unfortunately for me they stopped the contractions, and I went home to rest, only to find that contractions are back. History seems to be repeating itself. For whatever reason my body doesn't dial-ate very well. The doctors goal is to try and prolong my delivery til the 3rd, and my goal is to just get this baby out. So I am feeling discouraged and very tired, and in constant pain. So many emotions. So I guess we'll see how far this goes. To be honest I just don't think I can make it to August 3rd...I believe this baby may be here today.
